Monday, September 17, 2007

Crocs with Socks Rocks

With the coming of fall here in Tel Aviv, and the cooler weather, we will all now wear our Crocs (the National Footwear of Israel) with socks.

Because, really, they weren't ugly enough without the socks. The holes will stand out so much better this way.

And remember, never put that heel strap actually around your heel. That's just wrong.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Cross Dressing is FUN!

We've been to a few countries, and a few bars. I've seen people drinking in their bathing suits with no shoes, and without shirts.

But I've never seen a bar let customers in wearing wet underwear and women's clothing. Fresh from the sea.

The only problem? Someone's clothing was stolen, so he had no shirt. Bouncer wouldn't let him in. Was okay if he put on a cute, sexy, ladies tank top, though.

Problems solved. Let the drinking resume!

Lessons learned:

  1. Never leave your clothing unattended at the beach at 3 AM
  2. Never quit drinking if you're wearing women's clothing
  3. Always wear undiepanties

Sunday, September 9, 2007

GEE-RONE, And Possibly in Pretty Bad Taste. . . But Whatever

Pavarotti is standing at the pearly gates.

St Peter opens them and says, 'Oh, it's you Luciano, come on in, squeeze through.'

Pavarotti says, 'Hold on, I've got an envelope for you from the Pope.'

St Peter opens it up and reads it.


Sunday, September 2, 2007

You have a WHAT?

Okay. I have known FM for over 12 years. In a veeeery intimate way. Oh, the things I could tell you. . .

But, one thing I didn't know until yesterday at lunch, is FM has a gold tooth.

Granted, it's on the side, toward the back, and hardly visible.

But, I didn't KNOW!

How could I not know my HUSBAND had a GOLD TOOTH?!?!?

And, my initial reaction?

"I have to remember not to bury you with that!"